Paleo Chocolate Almond Clusters
When life hands you stress, unpaid bills, or an emotionally unavailable situationship—make Paleo Chocolate Almond Clusters and pretend everything’s fine.
These little nuggets of joy combine crunchy almonds and rich chocolate, but somehow still whisper, “I’m healthy and emotionally balanced.”
They’re vegan, paleo, and won’t send you into a sugar spiral or regret spiral—depending on the day.
Even better? No baking. Because honestly, who has time to preheat anything unless it’s a dating profile?
Whip these up faster than your last relationship fell apart. And unlike Brad, they never disappoint or ghost you after two weeks.
Paleo Chocolate Almond Clusters
These crunchy, sweet, chocolatey almond clusters are the perfect no-bake snack that’s both indulgent and secretly healthy. Brad could never.
Ingredients
- 1 cup raw almonds
- 1 cup dairy-free dark chocolate chips
- 1 tbsp coconut oil
- ½ tsp vanilla extract
- Pinch sea salt
- Optional: shredded coconut or flaky salt for topping
Instructions
- Melt chocolate chips with coconut oil in a saucepan or microwave, stirring until smooth like your go-to foundation.
- Stir in vanilla and sea salt for that flavor glow-up.
- Add almonds and coat them like you’re giving them a makeover.
- Scoop spoonfuls onto a parchment-lined sheet like you’re dropping truth bombs.
- Chill in the fridge for 30 minutes or until firm, unlike your ex.
- Store in an airtight container and snack as needed—like vitamins, but better.
Notes
Nutritional Values (Per Cluster):
- Calories: 120
- Total Fat: 9g
- Saturated Fat: 3g
- Carbohydrates: 9g
- Fiber: 2g
- Protein: 3g
Vitamins & Minerals (Per Cluster):
- Magnesium: 6%
- Iron: 5%
- Vitamin E: 4%
- Calcium: 3%
- Potassium: 4%
Additional Notes & Tips:
- Swap almonds for cashews, walnuts, or hazelnuts if you feel wild.
- Top with sea salt flakes for that Pinterest-worthy look.
- Don’t overheat the chocolate—burnt chocolate is a crime against snacks.
- These make cute gifts, if you’re the sharing type (we see you, overachiever).
- Pair with red wine and your favorite messy rom-com.
